Uselessness

My biggest fear is leaving the house without realizing that I hadn’t removed the sizing information sticker from the leg of my new pants.
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Business Opportunity: Open a temporary tattoo parlor.
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Not Attractive: “I’m going to get your name tattooed in cursive on my neck.”
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Apathetic way to rob a bank: “Give me a lot of your money”
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Uninteresting Fact: On Sunday, I washed my jeans for the first time in over a year. I originally bought them because this happened.

Tags: Bad Jokes, Fake Jobs, Jealous?, Lists